If everyone loved their neighbor like they love themselves the world would be a pretty nasty place. In fact, people DO tend to treat their neighbor's pretty badly these days. Everything in this world seems to be based on conflict; TV, Video Games, Movies, Books. Even our economy. The hierarchy of this world is drilled into our heads as soon as we're born - not in words (we are told not to hit not to steal not to hate, but in actions... "Listen to Daddy or you're gona get a spankin'" A child has no choice to comply. He can't stand up to his father. But he waits. He knows one day he'll be able to and then one day he'll be free.
Unfortunately, life is not that simple. And as this theoretical child grows older he realizes, sometimes sub-consciously, that it's a dog eat dog world out there. You gotta HAVE if you want to survive; money,looks, education, a good job, a sweet car, a hot babe. Just the pressure of living up to society's standards can get to a person. It's pretty much a "who has the biggest dick" contest. Everything that's thrown at us through TV, ads, and our culture says that you have to be perfect or you are not important. So, back to my former example: This child/now young adult gets caught up in unhealthy thought patterns...
"I'm not good enough"
"No one understands me"
"It's not worth it"
All these are some of the bad thought patterns I myself have had in my head. I believed them so much that they were just the way I thought. I wondered why the world was always shitting on me. Then I'd go look at myself in the mirror and tell myself how ugly I was. For some reason I couldn't ever be happy. And when some well-meaning persons tried to give me advice (i.e. happiness is a choice), I would just get angry. I got angry because I didn't want to be responsible for myself. If I can't blame it on the world then I have to do actual WORK to IMPROVE myself. So I went on blaming the world for a little longer. This led to all sorts of shenanigans such as, promiscuous sex, alcohol abuse, drug abuse, and eventually getting physically abused. I've always had that self-destructive tendency, it's almost a reflex. Ultimately I would blame myself and I would tell myself I deserved it.
Then I discovered something wonderful. It's called POSITIVITY. I read this book "The Creation of Health: The Emotional, Psychological and Spiritual Responses That Promote Health and Healing" (By Dr. Caroline Myss, and Dr. Norman Shealy). I highly recommend this book. It opened my eyes to the fact that I am in control - or I can be, all I have to do is take the wheel.
Thus I began the journey to heal myself. It's been a rocky road already and I'm just getting started. But there's nothing like having yourself on your side. When I look in the mirror now, I don't see any flaws. I see a gorgeous twenty year old girl with bright, happy eyes. The first step to healing is accepting and loving yourself. It's hard and it's an every day battle. But so worth it.
One thing I've found helpful is to write down the negative thought patterns you've noticed. Then, every time you think them, replace the negative with something positive...
"I am perfect"
"I love myself"
"It's worth my effort"
Have faith in yourself and you can do pretty much anything. So be happy! and love yourself :)
Unfortunately, life is not that simple. And as this theoretical child grows older he realizes, sometimes sub-consciously, that it's a dog eat dog world out there. You gotta HAVE if you want to survive; money,looks, education, a good job, a sweet car, a hot babe. Just the pressure of living up to society's standards can get to a person. It's pretty much a "who has the biggest dick" contest. Everything that's thrown at us through TV, ads, and our culture says that you have to be perfect or you are not important. So, back to my former example: This child/now young adult gets caught up in unhealthy thought patterns...
"I'm not good enough"
"No one understands me"
"It's not worth it"
All these are some of the bad thought patterns I myself have had in my head. I believed them so much that they were just the way I thought. I wondered why the world was always shitting on me. Then I'd go look at myself in the mirror and tell myself how ugly I was. For some reason I couldn't ever be happy. And when some well-meaning persons tried to give me advice (i.e. happiness is a choice), I would just get angry. I got angry because I didn't want to be responsible for myself. If I can't blame it on the world then I have to do actual WORK to IMPROVE myself. So I went on blaming the world for a little longer. This led to all sorts of shenanigans such as, promiscuous sex, alcohol abuse, drug abuse, and eventually getting physically abused. I've always had that self-destructive tendency, it's almost a reflex. Ultimately I would blame myself and I would tell myself I deserved it.
Then I discovered something wonderful. It's called POSITIVITY. I read this book "The Creation of Health: The Emotional, Psychological and Spiritual Responses That Promote Health and Healing" (By Dr. Caroline Myss, and Dr. Norman Shealy). I highly recommend this book. It opened my eyes to the fact that I am in control - or I can be, all I have to do is take the wheel.
Thus I began the journey to heal myself. It's been a rocky road already and I'm just getting started. But there's nothing like having yourself on your side. When I look in the mirror now, I don't see any flaws. I see a gorgeous twenty year old girl with bright, happy eyes. The first step to healing is accepting and loving yourself. It's hard and it's an every day battle. But so worth it.
One thing I've found helpful is to write down the negative thought patterns you've noticed. Then, every time you think them, replace the negative with something positive...
"I am perfect"
"I love myself"
"It's worth my effort"
Have faith in yourself and you can do pretty much anything. So be happy! and love yourself :)
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